It’s a question that I get often. It’s also a pretty good question, but one that I definitely can’t answer in a few sentences. However, it is the interesting question, and not ‘Why do you run?’ That one is easy. I run for my physical and mental health, so that I can be in good physical shape to do other fun shit, and because it generally helps me be less of an asshole. Simple. ‘Why do you run 100 mile races?’ is a totally different question. Certainly not for the health benefits. There are none. Quite the opposite. So why do I do it? The real reason is elusive. I don’t have a succinct answer, and when I try to explain it gets kinda weird….
I believe that having amazing, challenging , and even overwhelming experiences is a big part of the answer to the ultimate question. Why do we exist at all? Having been gifted life, health, and the mind to appreciate it, I feel compelled to go forth and see what I’m capable of. To learn about myself and this universe I inhabit. I’ve never had my perspectives shattered sitting on the couch watching TV. I’ve never had an epiphany watching someone else play football. Humans have an instinctual need to accomplish things, to go experience the world, and to struggle. We do much worse than a disservice to our health with a sedentary lifestyle. We poison our soul.
In four weeks I will go to Idaho for the ultimate test. I’ve spent hundreds of hours training my body and mind. To pit myself against nature and exhaustion. To prove to myself that I’m no longer that broken man that I was. I will go towards the physical suffering that my mind has already overcome. I will demonstrate a great feat that almost nobody will see, purely for my own gratification. I will put out a herculean effort, and I may succeed in finishing the race. Even if I do not I can say that I put myself out there, that for a time I was, as Teddy Roosevelt put it, the man in the arena.
In four weeks I will go to Idaho for the ultimate opportunity. There is no guarantee, just finishing the race won’t meet the standard. You see, out there in the mountains I will be chasing someone. This is a race after all, and I intend to win. I will face a nearly unbeatable competitor through the endless afternoon and dark night. He Is a faster, stronger, tougher, and smarter version of myself. He is relentless and possess an iron will. He has worked harder and made better decisions than me. Through the many hours of the race I will have the opportunity to catch that man, and If I can catch him, I will become him.
In four weeks I will go to Idaho for the ultimate experience. It’s a kind of war, one that I’m now familiar with. A war of the spirit. I will go to make sacrifice to the mountains and the rivers. I will go to enter into covenant with the land. I will come pour my will out upon it, in exchange for a small piece of the staggering wisdom that nature possesses. For an entire day I will marvel at the capability of my body and mind, with full understanding of my own utter insignificance. In the end, regardless of outcome, I will carry a bit of that place with me going forward. We always remember the places that we suffer the most.
- Brian Gilbert 8/25/24
Trail 2 Ultra 